


saying "i love you" without using words

by r0uen



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Fluff, Introspection, Love, M/M, They're just two boys in love, spoilers for sdr2 and dr3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:53:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24449158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/r0uen/pseuds/r0uen
Summary: Komaeda reflects on his life, his luck, and his feelings for Hinata Hajime, unarguably the best person that he has ever met.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime & Komaeda Nagito & Nanami Chiaki, Hinata Hajime & Nanami Chiaki, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Komaeda Nagito & Nanami Chiaki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 115





	saying "i love you" without using words

**Author's Note:**

> this is probably the third komahina fic i've started by now- i just started watching thh last month and now in addicted.  
> i relate to komaeda so much, its insane. and seeing him be loved just makes me feel like i have a chance. so i wrote this, since i'm feeling rather alone right now. 
> 
> here's a mini playlist of songs that kind of inspired this fic:  
> aesthetic? (more like ass-pathetic) by panucci's pizza  
> blow my brains out- tikkle me  
> love at first sight- the brobecks  
> i wanna be yours- arctic monkeys  
> we fell in love in october- girl in red
> 
> i hope you enjoy!!! xo ryan

Sometimes/often times/all the time Komaeda wishes he was someone other than himself. 

Being born as Komaeda Nagito was, likely, the worst stroke of luck ever brought upon him. Expected, considering he is the Ultimate Lucky Student after all.

Gaining that title was quite possible the third worst thing that has ever happened to him. 

(the second was Chiaki's death).

Being the Ultimate Lucky Student meant that he was a talentless among the talented, places there like he had value. Forced to act like he had at least some meaning compared to the others around him. When, in actuality, he was nothing. Fucking nothing.

Lady Luck may smile upon him, but only when she's in the mood. Often, he suffers from her unarmed, careless anger instead. 

The others have something solid. A talent they can rely on. A talent they love and devote themselves too, a talent that makes them unique and wonderful and full of hope. 

Komaeda has his parents getting killed by a rogue asteroid. Komaeda has plane crashes where he is the only survivor. Komaeda has getting kidnapped for a ransom until his captors realize no one will pay since Komaeda has no one. Komaeda has nothing. 

Well, now he has Hinata. Hinata Hajime. 

He is the one thing that makes Komaeda grateful for his luck. He truly is Komaeda's hope.

When they first met on "Jabberwock", in that messed up fake reality, he was automatically drawn to Hajime. Something about him was unique. He had this natural compassion and intelligence and hope inside of him, and it felt warmer and better than any of the hope in the other Ulimates. 

Komaeda wasn't.... mad, per se, that Hajime had been talentless, but he was certainly confused beyond belief: How could someone with no talent, someone that was supposed to be a leech to society, have such a strong will? How was Hajime so brilliant while still being so bland?

Of course, the Komaeda in the simulation hadn't yet realized that talent isn't everything. He knows that now, after remembering his time spent with Chiaki. She taught him so much. She was his first real friend.

Distantly, another memory comes into view,  and Komaeda feels like he's watching a blurry film in Monokuma Theatre.

_Komaeda was sitting next to Chiaki on a bench by the fountain in the courtyard. She was playing some racing game, a concentrated look in her eyes._

_It was after school hours, and Chiaki had dragged him here in a way that was fairly out of character. "I want you to meet my friend from the Reserve Course!" she had said. "I think you'll get along well."_

_Komaeda had been touched. He doesn't tend to "get along" with others very well._

_He glances to his right, and watches a lanky figure approaching from the Reserve Course building. Komaeda is instantly struck by how handsome the boy is. He has messy and spikey brown hair and deep green eyes. His eyes are bright and strong and full of hope._

_Komaeda kind of wants to kiss him._

_"Hey, Nanami-chan!" the boy says once he's close enough. Komaeda realizes he's the first person that actually manages to look good in the Reserve Course uniform. He glances at Komaeda and seems a bit intimidated, which is rather shocking. Komaeda is not scary or smart or powerful. He isn't someone to be scared of._

_Chiaki pauses her game and looks up with a smile. "Hey Hinata!" She stands up, pulling Komaeda with her. "This is Komaeda Nagito, the friend I was telling you about the other day? I think you guys will get along well."_

_Komaeda smiles, glances up at a shocked-looking Hinata. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Hinata-kun. Chiaki-chan has told me all about her 'Reserve Course friend', and I think it's fair to assume that's you."_

_Hinata blushed and Komaeda wishes he could know what was going through his mind. "Yes, it's nice to meet you too Komaeda-san!"_

_Komaeda grinned at his politeness. "No need to be so formal, Hinata. I'm not really an ultimate. I'm more similar to you than you realize."_

_Hinata cocks his head, and it's incredibly cute. "Well, what's your ultimate then?"_

_"Komaeda-chan is the Ultimate Lucky Student! He hates his talent but I think it's rather interesting," says Chiaki, right as Komaeda was about to inform Hinata about how awful his talent was._

_Hinata bounces on his heels, seeming... excited? "Wow, Komaeda-kun, that's amazing!"_

_"Thank you, Hinata-kun."_

_Komaeda almost expects Chiaki to ask him to_ _leave after she introduced him to Hinata. Instead, she says "So, there's this arcade a few blocks away that I've been meaning to go to. Would you guys like to come with me?"_

_"I have nothing better to do," Komaeda says with a laugh. Truth be told, he was shocked. This is his the first time hanging out with someone outside of school.... ever, probably._

_People tend not to like him or befriend him or ask him to hang out._

_Hinata shrugs. "Sure, I have all weekend to do my homework anyway."_

_"Awesome!" Chiaki stuffs her console in her bag and grabs both Komaeda and Hinata's hands. "Let's go!"_

_Hinata shoots Komaeda an incredulous look, and Komaeda smirks as he meets his eyes. This is classic Chiaki behavior._

_Then, Hinata looks away with a blush._

_Huh._

_Maybe Komaeda's attraction isn't one sided after all_. 

The memory is so vivid, so bright and hopeful. The specifics of the night are lost, but he remembers talking and laughing with Hajime and Chiaki, winning Hajime a stuffed animal (with his luck, of course), playing a racing game with Chiaki, hugging Hajime goodnight. It makes Komaeda smile, giddy as he remembers his best friends.

Chiaki has helped him in more ways than one. She helped him fall in love with Hajime for the first time.

The second time happened when Hajime was Izuru, but Komaeda was still Komaeda. He remembers seeing Izuru and being starstruck. Hope had come off of him in waves and his indifference lit a fire in Komaeda's heart. 

The third time was when Komaeda was Servant and Hajime was still Izuru. Servant watched as Izuru deftly avoided bullets, led the people below into dances of death. Servant had been sitting at the top of a building, and he remembers wishing he was at Izuru's side. 

The fourth time was in the simulation, when Hajime was Hajime and Komaeda was younger and mostly untainted, mostly uncorrupted. He remembers the look Hajime gave him during the first trial, a glance full of shock and fear and hatred, and his heart dropped to his feet and shattered brilliantly, each shard sharp and deadly. 

Later, he took those shards to his own heart. It was the only way he could end it. 

Then, the fifth time. The last time. Komaeda is finally just Komaeda, empty and broken but finding ways to survive. Hajime is a combination of the two people Komaeda loved. So of course he has fallen in love again

It's grander this time, too. More powerful, more healing, more full. Komaeda has given his heart to Hajime and gotten nothing but love and care in return. For the first time, he feels wanted. He feels needed. He feels important. 

Komaeda hadn't even realized he was crying. Small tears leaving tracks on his cheeks. He reaches up a hand to brush them away so they don't fall on the pillow. 

Suddenly, another hand grabs his own. It's strong and warm. It feels like home. Komaeda turns over and is met with tired but welcoming mismatched eyes. 

"Nagito?" Hajime murmured, voice thick and low with sleep. "Why are you crying?" He cups Nagito's face, so tender, so loving, which only makes him cry harder. 

Hajime's eyebrows crease in concern. "Love, please, what's wrong?" 

Komaeda smiles, grips Hajime's hand. "Nothing's wrong, Haji. In fact, everything's just right." 

"But..." Hajime studies him. "Then why were you crying?" 

He meets Hajime's steady, warm gaze and shifts closer. Hajime's arm rests around his middle and Komaeda wants to just stay here forever. Safe and loved and complete.

"I'm just- so lucky to have you, Hajime," Komaeda chokes out. "I don't know what I would do without you. You're perfect. You're my world. And I love you so, so, so much." 

Hajime softens, cradles Komaeda's face in his hands. "I love you too. Always. I'm never gonna leave you, Ko. I'm always gonna be here." 

With that, Komaeda breaks in the best way. Hajime pulls him close, arms tight and strong around him as Komaeda curls in. He places light kisses in messy white hair, and Komaeda wonders how on Earth he got so lucky. 

"Hajime... thank you."

**Author's Note:**

> also if you're instagram user hajimesmemeaccount and you see this:  
> 1\. bro you're funny as fuck  
> 2\. youre the only horny who deserves rights  
> 3\. kin date me, no homo tho


End file.
